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Karen Gillan - Shifty

t_aimer in castoflove

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Post - Damian
Gah. Eric came over where I was with Kiki and almost strangled me, just because I mentioned 'paranoia'. I swear, I've never seen Kiki so hysterical with her cousin. He was almost strangling me, and my beloved was almost strangling him. Wait, correction. She was strangling him in fact.

Oh. And flowers aplenty as well. The girlfriends must be rolling their eyes at me now that Kiki and I are almost always together.

My parents asked me when I was going to go back to LA. They encouraged me to stay when I told them of a certain darling. But before they hung up the phone, I heard Mom say to Dad, "Since when has Damian become so mentally ill?"

Love...
loving kiki-- DD


Meeting Bel - Eric
Bel's going to meet me soon... in five hours time. But I've already put on my cologne, shaved, taken a bath, tried on all my clothes in my wadrobe, almost strangled Damian for telling me on the cell phone that I was too paranoid, watched the Mickey videos six times to alleviate my nervousness, looked at the photo of Lisa and I for thirty-eight times, and last of all, practised my 'speech' thirteen times.

Five hours more...

What am I to do?
out-- Eric


WHAT HOW WHO WHEN WHY WHERE
I express my Condolenses to Bel for whatever incident it was.

What is it with the Condolenses, and the capitalisation of it! Will no one tell me what incident it was? Was it a porn movie or something? WHO THE HECK IS DAN???!!! OY.

I mean... OY!!! HOI!!! SOMEBODY TELL ME PLEASE! What happened to bel? Or who did what to her! Wallace! WHAT *AHEM AHEM*???!!!

SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON! (especially when it comes to bel)
going nuts with worry-- eric


Condolences
I express my utmost Condolences to bel for that most revolting incident.

I understand how it feels like to have your *ahem* to *ahem ahem*.

I won't do it, Vickins. Unlike you, who went all the way to Tennessee and what was all the buzz about this Uncle Barry? Anyway, who would call himself Barry? Sounds like Barney's distant cousin.

Are you still coming over to my place tonight?
reading atop a tree-- Joel


hanky-panky
We express our utmost Condolences to bel for her witnessing of a most horrible, nerve-wracking video.

DD: Right, so now offering our Condolences are done. Let's continue what we were doing. *winks*
kiki: yeah, sure!

(The administrator of this site has refused to reveal details of such explicit hanky-panky between the subjects DD and kiki)
"hanky-pankying"-- DD and kiki


sorry
I express my utmost Condolences to bel for her witnessing of a most unfortunate incident.

My tree angel, you better not do something like that, unless it's for charity or something. Or else...

But I'll still love you!
kisses-- vicks


nightmare!
DAN KISSED A GIRL!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARE

*faints*
faints-- bel


eric and his "flowers"
I have absolutely no idea why Eric called me suddenly and asked me if I knew how to make paper flowers, or knew anything about origami. It's mind-boggling to think of the reason why. I don't do origami, so out of kindness and a certain amount of love, I suggested Hui, to teach him over the webcam.

And my darling dear, amicable, nice, sweet sister nearly lost it, trying to teach Eric.

And all I could see through the webcam, was twisted forms, while in front of our computer, were beautiful paper flowers made by Hui. Even Zach who was beside her, with all his forgetfulness, could make a proper one. We didn't have the heart to tell Eric that we didn't see any paper flowers. Only twisted forms of paper.
--- Bing, a paper flower in my hand...


eric's paper "flowers"
I don't know what's wrong with Eric. Ever since he came back, he's been folding paper thingamabobs. It went like this:

*walks into room and freaks out* I see Eric. He's sitting at the table, twisting paper. Yes. Twisting.

Damian: ERIC! NOOOOO! There's got to be another way to take away your pain! Don't do anything stupid, ERIC! PUT THE PAPER DOWN!
Eric: *looks at me stupidly* Huh? What are you talking about this time, Damian? I'm...
Damian: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! HE'S GONE MAD!!!!!!!
Eric: IT'S ORIGAMI!!!!
Damian: *freezes. The clock ticks. Looks at Eric. And then the paper* ORIGAMI? You call that twisted thing doing origami? What is it supposed to be? A plier? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ORIGAMI! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! THAT'S A GREAT ONE ERIC! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA* wipes tears from eyes* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Eric: *states slowly* It. Is. A. Paper. Flower.
Damian: FLOWER? PAPER FLOWER? *stares at twisted thingays/thingeys* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then Eric really went nuts. He stuffed a twisted thing in my hand and started shouting "IT IS A FLOWER!!!! What's wrong with you? It's a flower, can't you see? Is it that bad? It's a flower!"

And before he could start strangling me again (kiki wasn't there for once to save me from the clutches of The Evil Eric), I backed out slowly, still holding the "flower".

Seriously, I think Eric's trying to be sweet, and learn origami to give a bouquet of paper flowers to bel. But if I were her, I wouldn't be too pleased to receive a bouquet of twisted scrap paper, as it will seem to be.

ho-kay. *looks at twisted "flower"*

Hasn't he seen a flower in his entire life? I know he has led a deprived life since Lisa departed, but still... flowers are all over the place! I sure pity the paper. They live to be twisted and presented, only having the dubious honour of being dubbed a "flower". Yeah. A flower only in Eric's eyes.

oh welpz (me being influenced by kiki darling). I think I'll go meet kiki. It's weird to be staying in the same apartment as Eric when he's deluded on his skill at origami and especially at making paper flowers.
-- Damian.


fluffly thing?
Khine has cheated. Hmph. She has sent the bunny slippers to I-don't-know-where with my name as the sender. And she went nuts yesterday when I told her I gave her the wrong address. She had asked me for Damian's address one day, and I gave her Joel's instead. My mistake. And she went ballistic.

And I really didn't get Joel when he called to say "erm.. thanks? For the... fluffy thing." What did I give him? Rabbits? And he had to go off to answer a call from his father, before I could ask furthur.

I think I'll ask him later when we meet at The Big Tree.

Kiki is being very mean. She refuses to let us have even a morsel or a crumb of the cookies Damian made for her. Not even a crumb.
crazy for my dear j.wallace-- vicks


where art thou, bunnies?
Why are my lovely fuzzy pink bunny slippers gone? I couldn't sleep well last night, thinking where they might have gone off to. Perhaps in the hands of an evil master, trying to dominate the world with my fuzzy bunny slippers! *screams*

*sniffs* The right slipper or right bunny is named Dimple, and the left is Dori... *sniffs and wails* MY DIMPLE AND DORI!!!
dimple and dori, where art thou?-- Eric


eric's bunny slippers?
I don't get it. Why would Vicks send a parcel containing pink bunny slippers to me, and the recipient is named Eric?
bunny slippers?-- joel wallace


Damian's cookies and Eric's bunny slippers
I love my Darling Damian.

Haven't I said that tens and thousands of times?

But I still love him very very very much. Yes, I do.

Yesterday, when I went over and was ready to enter the kitchen where DD was in, he suddenly zoomed out of the kitchen, wearing a ridiculously flattened chef's hat and having brown streaks and flour smeared over his face. I couldn't stop laughing at the ludicrous sight and wondered whether he was trying to be a baker or something. As well as entertaining the thought that perhaps Eric might have given up on making paper pretzels and roped in DD to make some real ones instead.

But no. It turned out that DD was making cookies for me! :) :) :) :) :) :)

He didn't want to tell me at first, and was hemming and hawing away, as I tried to peer into the kitchen, he stood there, guarding the door, with his hands stretched out. As if he was defending Minas Tirith or something.

But of course Eric just had to come out of his room at that moment to yell, "DAMIAN! YOUR COOKIES ARE BURNING! YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING OR KIKI MIGHT HAVE TO EAT BURNT OATS!"

And thus, Damian dashed back into the kitchen to salvage the situation.

The cookies are a little burnt, but considering the fact that Damian probably has three butlers serving him and ten maids and three cooks back at home... it tasted wonderful.

And obviously, Eric was just jealous when he tried some cookies and commented that they were a bit burnt. He just doesn't have anyone to make cookies for him, except maybe bel, who doesn't seem to have taken any steps to bake them for him.

My dear sweet Damian...

Of course, Vicks and Khine tried to steal some of the cookies but I wouldn't let them. As for revenge and for a bit of fun, they stole Eric's bunny slippers and put then in my room. Which is bel's room as well of course. But they put it under my bed, for incriminating evidence.

Since when did Eric have bunny slippers? Now, that was hilarious. Though not so much for bel, when she found that out, as well as discovering them under my bed. I had to explain to her the situation and that no, I didn't have a fetish for Eric's things, much less his bunny slippers.

*falls off chair laughing* Now, I remember. They were a Christmas gift from my mom to him last year. She saw it on sale for 4.99, and thought it would be a bit of a joke to give 'em to him. We never thought he would actually use them!

The problem though was trying to return the slippers to Eric without letting him know that we know his little secret of bunny slippers. In the end, Khine had to go into his room and pretend to compliment on his paper pretzels and then drop them off under his bed discreetly.

I hear some noise, I think Vicks and Khine are trying to steal my lovely cookies again. Gotta go and catch them red-handed.
Damian's cookie detective-- kiki


white pretzels
WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY?

Just because I have been cooped up in my shell ever since Lisa departed doesn't mean you guys can bully me when I emerge into the world a changed man! Or rather, the man that I was before.

Damian (who's in the same room): Since when you were a man, Eric? In your high-school days? OOOOOOkay! I get the message! You don't have to look so menancing- OKAY! *leaves room warily*

Everyone keeps commenting on how twisted my flowers look. It's supposed to be a mixture of tulips, roses, daisies and sunflowers. But before I could begin colouring the paper, everyone 'observes casually' that they see only twisted paper pretzels.

And I hate to admit it, but I'm hungry. Damn, I shouldn't have chased Damian out. He could have paid for pizza delivery. Oh, it doesn't matter. I hear Vicks and Kiki outside making a lot of noise. I bet they have come to force-feed Damian to try their new recipes. Not that he minds.

But then again, it felt terrible when Vicks said "Oh, I didn't know Eric could make white pretzels!" when she saw my flowers.
white pretzels or flowers?-- Eric


kiki the cookie detective
only crumbs remained in the lovely tin! and some morsels! WHODUNNIT? WHODUNNIT? WHODUNNIT? I VWILL STRANGLE THE MURDERER OR THE COOKIE-STEALER!

*wails* my cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookies!!!!!!!!!

To Damian's/my cookies,
we loved you
we still do.
and I will avenge your cookie digestion (death)
and honour your choc chips (name)
whodunnit?
cookie detective I will become!
cookie detective-- kiki


my poor poor ears and lack of sleep
My poor poor ears. My poor poor sleep. I was rudely jolted out of my sleep when I heard someone screaming cold blue murder, and I sat straight up in bed, and my room was swimming in front of my eyes, maybe because I shot straight up and the rush of air into my eyeballs made it so. For a moment, I felt that I was in a Salvador Dali painting. Or worse. The Scream by Edvard Munch, suggests Vicks who is sitting here on the edge of my bed.

Kiki's cookies have been stolen. She is currently looking at the cookie tin, sitting out on the fire escape. And just... mourning. Damian has been called over. None of us can help here in this cookie mess. Sigh, crumbs. What a terrible start to a glorious day. It would have been glorious if I had gotten my beauty sleep.
yawn-- bel.


my cookies are gone!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My cookies are gone!

Whoever could have gobbled them? *screams* Who is that cold-blooded murderer? Who? Who? Who? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?????

WHODUNNIT?

*sobs* This morning, I was up, ready for another beau... beautiful day! And I have had this habit of looking at the beautiful heart-shaped biscuit tin containing Damian's wonderful delicious cookies (which he specially made for me, I am proud to say) and then I would smile. And then stretch to get myself out of that sleepy mode. And feeling the love from the sight of the cookie tin, it would be the start of a glorious and beautiful day.

But all of a sudden! (remember those stupid phrases which our primary school teachers taught us which now, sound so dumb?) a terrible feeling jolted through my nerves. I don't know what feeling it was. It was... ominous. I felt that I had to check the cookie tin! I just had to!

And so I crept up the the tin, and pried open the cover, and...
screaming in the morning-- kiki


Butler Damian
Eric sprained his arm, what a moron. okay bel, don't kill me now, but seriously, he didn't have to take a summer job as a security guard, did he? Dad even offered him the post of walking around in a Bunny costume to give balloons out to children and it would have covered his face! And it's just distribution of balloons, patting the heads of children, posing pictures and pretending to be the world's most moronic bunny, but nooooooo, he had to "show" his "manliness" off, as he said. I think he was attempting a joke.

Apparently, the thief he was trying to apprehend slammed one of the stereos onto his arm, and yes he did apprehend the antagonist, and got to keep the stereo (though the handle's a bit wonky now). And he got praised by the department head, and his colleagues who are so much older than him.

Eric gets honour, a reputation, a slightly wonky stereo, a sprained arm, and what do I get? I have to be the role of a manservant and help him with chores. Oh joy. And he still had the nerve to glare at me when I broke his cup. Seriously, it was time to throw away that cup with bunnies in police uniform prancing all over it anyway! It has endured months of "water erosion" and "wind erosion" when it was left out on the porch at his own house.

Secondly, I don't know what to do with the case of the missing/stolen cookies. My dear kiki's still so mad and upset though I promised to bake another batch for her. Oh goodness, why did I use the word 'batch'? It just slipped out of my mouth. You know how difficult it is for me to act as Eric's personal butler and a baker? Kiki's now in some sort of frenzy as a cookie detective. But HAHA, I got a kiss for promising to bake that next 'batch' of cookies.

Thirdly, Eric has gotten over his bunny slippers, thank goodness! Now, that adds to any meagre amount of "manliness" he has. Alright, I'm being mean, he is quite manly. But I am *ahem*, more. *grins cheekily*
'butlering' around/Eric's a bully!-- Damian


the unknown fate of The Bunny Slippers
I decided the fate of the bunny slippers yesterday. There wasn't any point in keeping a pair of bunny slippers belonging to bunny-knows-who. I attempted to ask Eric if he knew anything about anyone's bunny slippers, but he seemed so sad for some reason, and he kept repeating "Dimple... Dori...". Then I tried to ask kiki, who was also mourning, saying "cookies! whodunnit? cookies! whodunnit?"

It's no surprise that I always think these friends and I seem to come from a madhouse.

Thus, I set forth in my quest, stealthily skulking across the seemingly empty corridors, carrying the shoebox containing The Bunny Slippers. I had planned to leave it at the Lost And Found Counter of the hostel. But alas! A group of chattering girls who nothing much to speak of in their heads, came towards me, and I was trapped! To make a dash for my own room, or to go forth with my burden and risk capture! (and humiliation if they misunderstood my intentions with the bunnies)

I chose the latter, because they had already spotted me, their victim. The conversation went as follows, with full "stage directions" (names have been changed, or rather become numbered members of gender, to protect their identities):

Girl 1: *coquettishly* Hey, dear!
Girl 2: *playfully* Evening, Joe!
Girl 3: *waves* Wallace!
Boy: hey girls, and my name isn't Joe.
Girl 3: where you headed to?
Girl 1: *curiously with evil gleam* what's in the box, guy?
Boy: Nothing. Just a shoebox that I have to dump somewhere. *tries to change topic* Done with dinner?
Girl 2: Yeah, but the dinner was like bad.
Girl 1: Trying to give us a treat? Hey, really, what's in the box? Lemme see! *steps forward*
Girl 4: Let him off, man... but you do look funny carrying a shoebox in your arms like that.
(Girl 1 starts to take the shoebox, and Boy struggles)
Boy: It's really nothing! Uhhhh....
Girl 2: Get real, Joel! It's something!
Boy: It's ummm....
Girl 1: Come on! *smiles*
Boy: Uhhh... okay! I'll tell you, but it's you guys who made me!
Girl 1 and 2: Sure! Yeah!
Boy: It's a dead lizard. *starts to open box* One of my friends over at my room accidentally...
Girl 3: Spare us the details, Wallace! Those two are practically running down the corridor already.
(Boy sees Girl 1 and 2 backing away warily, at a very fast pace)
Girl 2: No, you really don't have to show us.
Girl 1: Thanks for sharing, but we do have to go, dear. It was erm... sweet of you.
Girl 3: As usual. Toodles!

End

Whew. Thus, I continued my quest and finally placed the shoebox containing The Bunny Slippers at the counter, where no one was. The fate of the bunny slippers lay with me at first, and I handed their fate to the Lost and Found counter. How ironic that one should lose one's fate and find it at the same place. Their destinies lay in some stranger's path where he would pass them and carry their futures.

On another issue, many hockey matches are coming up and Coach Collins is driving us nuts with constant practices and drillings from his mouth. And insults duh. It sure doesn't help when some girls AND guys are sitting at the stands, gawking at us. Isn't it quite difficult to gawk at guys who are wearing the helmet things, and only getting to see our faces when it's time for a waterbreak and we look so dishevelled. Plus, Coach Collins doesn't give us a great number of waterbreaks. he's so parsimonious with them, one would think every minute of a waterbreak will deduct five bucks from his salary.
--j.wallace


cookie crime: Report I
Case: Find out the nasty thief who stole my cookies!

Possible suspects:

Bel- highly possible. Has been sighted scowling in my direction everytime the victim (me) grins and savours my late cookies, due to jealousy. (Eric never did bake for her any) However, this can be attributed only to a wee bit of envy and jealousy (HA) (she's going to bash me), and is a good friend. Plus, she would rather consume the strawberries Eric bought for her, than steal my late cookies.

Khine- possible. was at the scece of crime the night before. Looking guilty. Though it could have been the fact that Vicks discovered that Khine had sent Eric's bunny slippers to J.Wallace instead.

Vicks- possible. But ruled out. Because Damian believes in her innocence. Plus, she helped me uncover some crumbs found at the door, and offered to sweep them up before the ants came.

Eric- highly possible. Kept commenting on Damian's cookies being burnt; was just jealous of his culinary/confectionary skills. Plus, he's my cousin, always wanting to get back at me simply for being my cousin.

Damian- completely impossible. he wouldn't steal his own cookies. or rather, my cookies. cookies that he made specially for me.

Hui, Bing, Christian and Zach- highly impossible. Were not in San Diego at the time when the crime was committed. I think.

Conclusion: This comes to nothing! Only Eric, Bel and Khine! and the MOST probable is Eric. I shall go and spy on him, with a magnifying glass now. Maybe he's hiding the remains of the cookies in his cast/bandaged arm. I shall rip the cast off, if the situation calls for such action, and dictates the circumstances. Bel shall not interfere, because justice has long arms. Longer than bel's anyway.

Current Mission: Spy on Eric. Onward ho!
cookie detective out!-- Kirsten


Report I of The Case of The Missing Cookies
Report I of The Case of The Missing Cookies

0930
Ready to rock 'n' roll. Armed with a notepad, pencil, magnifying glass and some other paraphernalia essential to use for investigation, I inspected my/bel's room.

0950
After tireless searching, found nothing suspicious. No cookies peeking out from the fridge at the corner or in bel's snack compartment. Only found a few "small" gifts (what Eric termed small) that Eric had given to her. Hee hee. So much for sentimentality. And she's still in denial over Eric. Discovered a few other tapes and discs of Power Rangers. And some pics of Dan. And other unattainables.

1000
Moved out of house, after writing note to bel, under the guise of saying that I was going to the grocery shop.

1015
Took a nice, slow walk to Damian's apartment. Rang doorbell.

1017
Eric opened the door, with a bleary look on face and hair dishevelled.

me: Sleeping?
Eric: jdamdpjfmsvmsmmmfffadmqwkadasdmmmfff (and other incoherent babble) *yawns*

I pushed him to one side and entered apartment. No sign of another sleepy 'un or DD bouncing to greet me mornin'.

Move to kitchen and prepare a cuppa tea for Eric.

1024
Gives cuppa to Eric. He takes a swig of the hot drink and starts choking and panting.

me: is your sense of touch malfunctioning? It's clearly hot.
Eric: *pants more*
me: do you usually wake up at later than this hour, after 10.15 I mean?
Eric: *able to speak coherently now* Thanks for the tea. Umm... I usually wake up later, unless there are classes or something.
me: about 11 or 12?
Eric: usually I'm prepared by 1130. Ready for breakfast.

Note: On the day of the fateful robbery, I had awoke at 930. It most probably couldn't have been Eric, if it had been done in the morning.

me: what time did you sleep and get up on *lists date*?
Eric: umm, kiki, do you think I memorise my sleeping time and the times where I wake up? I don't have some kind of clock in my body to memorise such. *drinks more tea*
me: oh. where's damian?
Eric: getting breakfast most probably. you want some? you could call him and ask him to get more.
me: nah, it's okay. I'm going to go to the grocer's now.
Eric: why're asking me these stuff anyway?
me: no! just concerned about you, dear cousin. hope your arm's fine now that the cast is gone. bye!

Steps out of house.

1045
Walks back to my dorm.

1055
Bel's back from breakfast with Khine, and Vicks is with her now.

me: hey guys.
vicks: thought you went to the grocers? why're you back empty-handed?
me: shit, I forgot. Does she have to notice things like that? Umm... there was nothing I really needed to get.
bel: huh? you were saying last night that damian's apartment was lacking in eggs and we need some more chips and ice-cream and a few tins of those creamed spinach. you even wrote out a list didn't ya?
vicks: a premature case of senile dementia?
bel: very premature.
me: ummm... the thing is, I forgot to bring the list.
bel: you couldn't possibly forget the eggs and the creamed spinach!
vicks: yeah, you don't forget anything related to your *puts on high voice* Darling Damian!
me: well, I figured that I would rather buy everything at one go. what time did you guys come back?
bel: at about 1030. The grocer's about a 15 minutes walk away. What took you so long to get back?
me: hey hey hey, what's with the interrogation now?
vicks: did you go out writing or something? what's with the notepad? and magnifying glass!
me: *stuffs paraphernalia into pocket, aware that I'm looking like some demented spy* yeah. kinda. ummmm... was looking at some... leaves. you know, so I could try to do some venation animation for my course... and I dropped by Damian's place for a while.
bel: *seemingly offhandedly* how's eric?
me: well er... *vicks grins at me* you know... he's still the same...
vicks: does he still have the cast?
bel: no.
vicks: how do you know?
bel: ummm...
vicks: you dropped by his place too! ah-ha!

Am glad that the joke is now on bel.

(defensive stances from bel and accusing/attacks from vicks go on)

vicks: uh-huh. don't deny it bel! you went to get brekafast for him that day!
bel: nooo! I just... went past his place, and I had you know... some... left...
vicks: you had a set meal takeaway LEFT, i suppose?
bel: errr...
vicks: Admit it!
bel: nooooo! by the way, kiki...
vicks: don't try to change the subject!
bel: Christian's here, with his two sisters...
me: when did he come back?
bel: only three days? the evening before your cookies went...
vicks: *nudges bel and whispers* don't remind her of it!
me: ah, it's okay. oh, I see.

So it meant that I had to check on Christian and Hui and Bing now. More suspects added to list.

Kiki out.
first report-- kiki


kirsten's investigation notes: MYSTERY OF THE MISSING COOKIES SOLVED
Suspects Confirmed (not in order of importance):

1. Christian
2. Hui
3. Bing
4. Khine
5. j.wallace
6. bel

Reasons:

1. Christian: Though not at San Diego, they could have teleported/taken the bus/airplane/flew/swam to LA in the night.
2. Hui: same goes for her
3. Bing: same goes for her
4. Khine: Was at the scene of the crime before the morning. ulterior motive for irritating me.
5. j.wallace: ulterior motive for irritating me
6. bel: same goes for her. and especially her! likes to irritate damian as well.

Suspects Crossed out of List:

1. Eric
2. Vicks
3. Damian
4. Zach

Reasons:

1. Eric: Was in bed at time of crime
2. Vicks: Was nice. No agenda (hahahahahaha. take that bel)
3. Damian: he made the cookies! he wouldn't steal the cookies and eat them!
4. Zach: at some course about memory work all the way in.... well, somewhere. but he might have forgotten to go, actually. hmmmmm...

Now, on to investigate bel! here is the excerpt of our conversation/"interrogation":

kiki: so bel!

bel (looking up from book slowly): hmmmmmmmmmmm?

kiki: I feel like eating cookies. (ah-ha! the technique of bringing to subject matter to the conversation!)

bel: ahhhhhh. (resumes reading)

kiki: yeah. maybe famous amos.

(bel nods head)

kiki: or mrs fields.

(bel does not respond, turns page)

kiki: *coughs*

bel: yes, yes. go on... yeah, you should...

kiki: BEL!

bel (jumps up): WAAAAAH? What? Did something happen to Eric! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! OH NO!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM, TELL ME! TELL ME KIRSTEN! DON'T LEAVE ME IN THE DEPTHS OF AGONY AND DESPAIR AND DROP ME DOWN THE ABYSS! *shakes kiki* TELL ME! WHAT HAPPENED TO ERIC?

kiki: ummm, well actually-

bel: WAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I KNEW IT! OH MY GOODNESS! AHHHH! MY POOR POOR ERIC! I STILL REMEMBER WHEN I TUCKED HIM INTO SLEEP TWO NIGHTS AGO!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!

kiki: ummm, bel?

bel: OH NO!!!!!! WHERE IS HE NOW? TELL ME KIKI, TELL ME!

kiki: well, he's actually in... ummm...

bel: AAHHHHHHH! NONONONONOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!!!!

kiki: BEL!

bel: YES???

kiki: there's NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with ERIC! I'm just asking you...

bel: OH MY GOODNESS! there's nothing wrong with him. WHEW! WHEW! WHEW! AHHHH.... you scared the wits and pants out of me, kiki.

kiki: yeah, the wits part, surely. but you've actually got your pajamas on, not pants. but ANYWAY. I feel like eating cookies. Do you have any?

bel: nooooo. why would I have any cookies?

kiki (light-hearted tone): speaking of cookies, Damian's ones were really really good.

*khine walks over*

khine: oh yeah, that's what Christian said so too.

kiki: (absent-mindedly) yeah, I really loved them, until they got- (jerks up) WHAT? CHRISTIAN SAID WHAT?

khine (shocked): ummmmmmmmmmmm. oh! nothing... nothing at all...

bel: uh-oh... you know... I think I need to use the bathroom...

kiki: YOU STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU WERE INVOLVED! YOU KNEW OF IT! THE TRUTH! I WANT THE TRUTH NOW!

bel: NOOO! NOOO! I'm just thinking... that you and Khine might want to work the... differences out, while I leave the storm and head for the kitchen where I shall proceed to keep all the sharp or dangerous objects, especially the knives, the chopping-board, the freezer, tape up the rubbish chute...

kiki (looking at Khine and saying very very very fiercely): you forgot to mention THE CHOPPER... the BLENDER...

(khine's face turns as white as a piece of very very very white A4 size paper)

khine: well.... don't get... too... mad...

kiki: MAD? MAD? I AM VERY VERY EXTREMELY CALM RIGHT NOW!!!! (forwards menacingly)

khine (squeaking): help meeeeeeeeeee, bel!

bel: uhhhhhh.

kiki: perhaps I shall proceed to get the chopper and... remove all witnesses...

bel: sorry khine! (scoots off)

khine: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! okay kiki. Christian and his sisters came over that night... drove over, and...

kiki: AND?

khine: was hungry...

kiki: UH-HUH...

khine: and... they asked me if there was anything to munch on when I was in the washroom...

kiki: AND THEY CAME INTO TO STEAL THE COOKIES!

khine: NONONO! listen! and... I said yeah, just look around...

kiki: AND THEY STOLE MY COOKIES!

khine: noooo. not yet...

kiki: NOT YET?!

khine: so they... wandered around and looked... and searched... and... wandered... and into your room, where they descended on this nice... box... of...

kiki: COOKIES! grrrrrrrrrrr...

khine: and... it was too late when I came in! I swear kiki, I tried to stop them! I did!

kiki: AAAAAAHHHH! I can hear Christian crunching away on the cookies! And the crumbs falling to the floor, slow-motion!

khine: I tried to stop them! seriously! I didn't know until I came back to find them in your room!

kiki: AND TOU CONCEALED THE TRUTH FROM ME, VILLAIN!

khine: aaaaaaaaaaahhh. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! you were too hopping mad!!!

kiki: NOW, I'm hopping mad! (runs towards khine) I'm GOING TO TAKE REVENGE ON CHRISTIAN!!!

khine: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs away)

(kiki and khine proceed to run around the house, kiki chasing after khine with a.... with a... pencil box, the only thing she could get her hands on)

The End

And now, the MMC is solved! Christian apologised to me, but ONLY after I ate the cakes khine had secretly baked for him! HAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! okay, I didn't eat it actually. Someone stole it *winks* and... well, it wasn't me of course! *looks around and whistles innocently*
--kirsten takes off her sherlock holmes hat!

Comments

Had some extra time so decided to post the old entries under the LJ cuts! I'd post the comments as well but nah, I'm not that nuts!
Cast of Love

December 2006

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